


suns, stars, and soulmates

by aiviloti



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24055438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiviloti/pseuds/aiviloti
Summary: Miya Atsumu is in love with Hinata Shouyou. Hinata Shouyou is someone's soulmate, and that someone is not Atsumu.“What are you doing?”“I’m naming the stars for all the people I love,” Shouyou says.“Does Kageyama get one?”“Yes,” Shouyou says, looking at the stars and not at Atsumu. “As does everyone at Karasuno.”“Do I get one?” Atsumu asks.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu
Comments: 26
Kudos: 301





	suns, stars, and soulmates

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lucisan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucisan/gifts).



> First of all please look at [this art](https://twitter.com/inawizawki/status/1251772519545049089?s=20) because I love it with all my heart and was so inspired and went HEY WHAT IF I WRITE ABOUT THIS SO please look at this art plsplsplspls

(i)

Miya Atsumu prides himself on many things like his brilliance, like the confidence that stems from it, but it is times like these when he watches Shouyou outshine even the brightest of stars, he falters.

“What are you doing?” he asks as they lean on the railings of their shared apartment, overlooking the bustling streets.

“I’m naming the stars for all the people I love,” says Shouyou, an air of innocence to him. It takes Atsumu’s breath away, it always does.

Yet, there is a seed of doubt in Atsumu’s mind.

Sometimes Shouyou waters it by accident, though he always quickly comes to uproot it. Sometimes, it is him who waters it by accident, and he will soon find that he’s paralysed with fear as he watches it grow and grow, forgetting how to overcome it until it emerges, not as a single tree trunk, but as a forest, trapping Atsumu at the heart of it.

“Does Kageyama get one?” He asks, thinking of the mark on Shouyou's chest, feathers intertwined with the sun.

“Yes,” Shouyou replies, looking at the stars and not at Atsumu. “As does everyone at Karasuno.”

Atsumu thinks about this. “Do I get one?” 

Shouyou breaks into a grin as he finally looks at Atsumu, the grin that outshines all stars. “You get the sun," he says gingerly. The words drip so much fondness, it almost hurts.

 _Shouyou_ , Atsumu thinks. _You’re the goddamn sun, not me, never me._

Miya Atsumu is in love with the sun, but in this world, there is no red thread tied to his pinky, sunflower tattoo on his chest, or words etched on his wrist. Sometimes, when he sees Shouyou with a mark not his or two passing soulmates who've found their way together, more seedlings of doubt are planted in his mind, waiting for a trigger, before they sprout and grow.

Atsumu doesn't smile back.

“I don’t want to be the sun. When people say that I can’t help but think why,” he says, wrapping his arms around himself, watching Shouyou's eyes bore into his own. “The sun isn’t even the brightest star, it just happens to be the nearest. Do people mean I love you because you’re easy, because you’re the only one I can get? Because you’re accessible?” He spits out, his tone more bitter and harsher than he had intended for it to be. 

“I don’t think that at all,” Shouyou says, his voice still gentle despite the outburst. “I don’t think that at all, and you know it.”

Atsumu does, but the forest traps him from saying it, from reaching out and touching Shouyou. He doesn't want to lash out at him of all people like this, but he still does. _Maybe that's why we aren't soulmates, you and I. Maybe it's because there's so much I can't give you_ , he thinks silently.

The forest stretches out in his mind. 

“You get the sun because you keep saying I'm the sun, and you are a part of me," Shouyou reaches out for him, but Atsumu still finds himself shrinking away involuntarily.

He hacks away at the forest with an axe, but no matter how hard he tries, the vines keep growing, and he swears if he tries hard enough, he can hear evil cackling in the background that takes the form of Kageyama Tobio.

He slumps against the railing, and he doesn’t protest when Shouyou leans in to wrap him in a hug. “It’s okay, Tsumu. It’s okay.”

 _That’s not it_ , Atsumu thinks as Shouyou holds him. _You’re the sun because you’re the only star I can’t live without_.

Atsumu watches Shouyou walk into the middle of the forest, his footsteps steady as he torches the vines and trunks and the rest of the forest. He holds out a hand to Atsumu and walks him out the forest, and Atsumu breathes again.

* * *

(ii)

There is a seed of doubt in Atsumu’s mind, so he presses the call button. 

“What’s it this time,” Osamu says before Atsumu even gets a word in. 

Atsumu protests. “I haven’t said shit.” He gets a snort in return.

“Yeah no fucking shit, you don’t call me at 12am if it wasn’t something.”

“It's-” he begins, but he soon trails off, the realisation of how ridiculous the entire situation is sinking in.

“-about Shouyou isn’t it,” Osamu finishes the rest of the sentence that he doesn't say, and Atsumu flinches, finding himself cursing and praising twinly senses at once. 

“...yeah.”

“What is it this time? Feeling bad and being pathetic because there’s no mark on your body and because Shouyou has one?”

“...yeah, but minus the pathetic part.” Atsumu was one miserable bastard, but he decides that still has a reputation to uphold.

“And you want to hear me yell at you for fucking calling me at 12am to remind you that he chose your sorry ass?”

“We have the same ass, Samu.”

Osamu hangs up on him, and he sighs just as Shouyou comes out of the shower, water droplets lining the tips of his hair. 

“Was that Samu?” he asks, pulling a towel over his hair.

Atsumu sets his phone down and sits down by the hair dryer. “Yeah it was, c’mere,” he says, reaching out his hands for Shouyou’s towel. He runs the towel gingerly over Shouyou’s hair and dries it off bit by bit.

“You okay?”

“Hmm, yeah, why not?”

“You don’t usually call Osamu at midnight unless you’re having a crisis you can’t talk to me about. And if it’s a crisis you can’t talk to me about it's usually because it’s about me, isn’t it?” Shouyou tilts his head up to smile at Atsumu, but he’s confronted by the hairdryer in the face. The impact of wind from the hairdryer forces him to squeeze his eyes shut.

Atsumu nudges his head back to its original position and continues to stroke his hair, letting the hot wind into the gaps between them. “It’s not about you,” he lies, although he knows it’s useless.

“Uh huh,” Shouyou says although he knows he’s lying.

“Yeah," Atsumu says, although he knows Shouyou knows he’s lying. "Don't worry about it." He switches the hairdryer off.

There is a seed of doubt in Atsumu’s mind.

He watches Shouyou looking so soft here, no pointy edges visible in sight. Atsumu tips the watering can, letting a steady stream of water trickle down into the cracks of the soil.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” he smiles, but he isn’t sure if it’s forced. “Long day tomorrow.”

Shouyou turns the light off and tumbles into the bed beside him. The atmosphere is tense and it is Shouyou who finally breaks it, not able to stand it anymore. “Do you really not want to talk about it?” he asks in the dark.

He really doesn't, but he also knows it’s going to bother Shouyou if he doesn’t say anything, so he does. “Sometimes I wonder if I deserve you, and if you deserve to be locked down here by me." Saying it out loud makes these fears sound more real and tangible, predators looming in the dark as they hunt their prey.

Silence sinks in again, and Atsumu wonders if he's taken the wrong step, until Shouyou speaks.

“You’re not locking me down though?” Shouyou turns to look at him. Atsumu feels his eyes on him despite not being able to see it. “I’m flying higher and higher because of you, no?”

Atsumu laughs. “I meant that metaphorically, Shouyou.”

“Then what of me don’t you deserve? My burnt pancakes? Not remembering to separate the coloured clothing from your white shirts? Never remembering directions no matter how many times you take me and making you draw me a hundred train route instructions a week?”

“That’s fine,” Atsumu mumbles, “Because I love you.”

A pair of soft lips are pressed to his, and it lingers. “And I love you,” Shouyou breathes. “I love you so much.”

Atsumu believes him, he thinks.

“I know,” he says, and he plucks the seedling out of the ground before it sprouts.

* * *

(iii)

Of all things Kageyama were, Atsumu wishes he was not the setter Shouyou grew up with.

He doesn't have to do this to himself, he _shouldn’t_ , he knows that better than anyone, but when he tosses the ball into the air, he still catches himself wondering in the short moments that it’s airborne, short moments that Shouyou hasn’t hit the ball _yet_ , he wonders if Shouyou is going to miss the spike, because there just isn’t enough between them, because the ball is too high, too low, too long, too short, or-

And _bam_ , just like that, Shouyou sends the ball cleanly over the net, inviting choruses of nice kill, nice hit, and Shouyou beams at Atsumu like the sun, like he should never have had to worry about that in the first place.

Atsumu knows, really he does, but there is a seed of doubt in his mind, and it makes all the difference.

Shouyou’s gaze lingers, as if sensing something wrong. _Everything okay?_ He holds up an ‘okay’ sign as if to ask. 

_Yeah_ . Atsumu nods, and he watches Shouyou break into that dazzling smile he will never tire of. _Yeah_ , he tells himself. Shouyou has never let him down, he’s not going to start letting him down here either.

They rotate positions, and Atsumu finds himself serving. “Nice serve, Atsumu!” comes a call from his left, but he doesn’t need to look to know who it is, whose words brim with hope and joy and everything good in this universe. He imagines Kageyama smirking on the other end of the net, and sends the ball flying, scoring a no touch ace.

He doesn’t need to look to know who’s cheering the loudest either.

The score settles him into a comfortable routine of receive, toss, spike, receive, toss, spike, a rhythm of success, a rhythm of what the universe sounds like when everything clicks right where they should. Atsumu isn’t stealing anything from anyone, or hindering anyone from anything. He’s right where he should be, setting for Shouyou, next to Shouyou, in Shouyou’s orbit.

The seed wilts a little today.

* * *

(iv)

“You don’t really have to come if you don’t want to, you know?” Shouyou slips this in between complaints of Atsumu’s undercooked eggs, eggs that he still munches happily on.

“I know,” Atsumu says, humming as he flips the eggs on the uncooked side, determined to make some meaner eggs that he ever has. “But I want to. You haven’t seen your Karasuno friends in a while, right?”

“Yeah, but I’ll be fine on my own. I know my way around home, and I promise I won’t get lost.”

“I know that, but you’re also going to leave earlier because you’ll be worried about me,” Atsumu watches the eggs turn perfectly golden, and he does an internal victory dance. He puts the eggs onto a plate and passes them to Shouyou. “Besides, I’m fine! I don’t have beef with Tobio-kun anymore, we’re all friends.”

“Really?” Shouyou begins to eat his second plate of eggs, but he looks at Atsumu every now and then to flash him a sceptical look. 

There is a seed of doubt in Atsumu's mind. But today, he thinks, if he holds his ground ferociously enough, no one will be able to get near it, much less water it. Today, it doesn't hurt to be stronger and braver than what he feels, just because he loves Hinata Shouyou 

“Really,” Atsumu nods. "How's my cooking today? Impressed yet?" He gives Shouyou a smug smile, who in turn makes a face at him. 

"Could be better, but you're improving fast."

"I only learn from the best," Atsumu says, and he takes a modest bow. "Only people who burn things no matter what and how they're trying to cook can be a perfect match for people who undercook their eggs, right? In fact,” Atsumu’s eyes gleam. “One might even call them soulmates.”

He's laughing as Shouyou throws a spoon at him, one that he catches without difficulty, god bless setter reflexes. 

The seeds in his mind are kicked to a side, severely malnourished.

* * *

(v)

In this world, Miya Atsumu will never have his skin marked with tangerines, but he’s marked with volleyballs traced on his chest, fingers scratching the itch he can’t reach, and soft kisses. One day, hopefully he’ll realise that’s more than enough.

Maybe today is that day.

"Naming the stars again?" Atsumu asks one night when they are leaning once more, against the railings

"Mhm,” Shouyou says, absentmindedly looking above.

"Do I get one?” As always, there is a seed of doubt in Atsumu’s mind.

“Yeah, but you’re not the sun anymore.”

Although the seeds have not sprouted in a very long time, Atsumu checks, for good measure, and to his relief, no one is watering them. So he asks, as bravely as he can manage. “So I’m no longer a part of you?”

“You’re Sirius,” Shouyou says, looking straight at the stars that dance across the night sky as he goes on, scrunching his nose up in concentration. “You’re not the nearest, not the most easily accessible one, but you are the brightest one out there, and it drowns everything else out. You aren’t here with me, but I’ll travel a zillion light years if it means I can find you.”

There are tears in Atsumu’s eyes, ones that he hastily wipes away in fear of disturbing the wonders that fill the air in this moment. Looking at Shouyou through teary eyes, he does not interrupt.

“Maybe it’s easy to fall for the sun or the moon, ‘cause they stand out so much, and if you’re just a star in a sky, it’s easy to see you as among many others. But I’ve seen that beautiful light, one only Sirius can emanate, and I have fallen for this one faraway shining star. The sun may be at arm’s length and seemingly brilliant, but I have chosen that one brightest star among the masses, and I _will_ choose you over and over.”

And this, breaks Atsumu’s dam. His sobs are ragged, and they alarm Shouyou.

“What is it?” he says, paling. “Did I say something wrong? Shit, I’m so sorry.” His eyes widen in horror and guilt, but Atsumu wraps his arm around him before he can continue the thought process.

“Don’t you dare think you said something wrong,” Atsumu warns him as menacingly as he can manage, which is not much considering how much he’s crying, but he still tries. “I’m holding you to every word you said, Hinata Shouyou. Come find me, no matter how far away I am, eh?”

At this, he can feel Shouyou easing into his embrace, and he eventually wraps his arms around Atsumu too.

“I think I already have,” Shouyou says, burning the forest, seeds, and any traces of doubts in Atsumu’s mind into ash.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so if you haven't please look at [this art](https://twitter.com/inawizawki/status/1251772519545049089?s=20) because I love it as much as Atsumu loves Hinata and I think that's worth something.
> 
> Anyway! Atsuhina is cool and adorable I vibe hopefully you vibe we vibe, something like that. Soulmate AUs are also pretty cool. I had a lot of fun writing this lmao and now off to the horrors of the real world I ascend
> 
> If you enjoyed this, leave a kudo, a comment, anything! Find me on [Twitter](https://Twitter.co/aiviloti) or [Tumblr](https://aiviloti.tumblr.com) if you wanna scream about this, or things in general! 
> 
> If you liked this enough to want to share it consider heading to [this post on Twitter](https://twitter.com/aiviloti/status/1259445799064203264?s=19) or [this post on Tumblr](https://aiviloti.tumblr.com/post/617776635411890176/atsuhina-soulmatesish-au-miya-atsumu-is-in) !
> 
> Your support goes a long way, but more than anything I just hope I made your trip worthwhile, or something like that, who knows!


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